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  1. #1
    Senior Member onenickelmiracle's Avatar
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    Nursing home/major stroke

    Before Christmas, had to call 911. Short story, seemed ok, tricked/conned into angiogram into brain to prevent major stroke and result major stroke immediately known afterwards. Significant left brain damage, some right. Told she may never wake up, language center torched by the bleed, may never move right side, may never swallow, etc. After a week, third day of eye opening, and a reported thumbs up, palliative services basically rapes us right in front of mother pushing to let her go. There we are in yellow gowns because of a super bug quarantine, so was afraid leaving and kicking her out because I respected not wasting hospital gowns. Was a real shame. Called a meeting three days later trying to get her sleeping drugs which work on lethargy. Happened to be she made a wonderful recovery the day of meeting and she was then able to wake up by arousal and still today. Really feels like a miracle which some people in similar situations don't get having her return without the drugs I wanted. One is levodopa in case you ever find yourself there. So we had to move her to a home because of respitory reasons and she also gets tube fed. She has a trache, and pick. What really bothers me now is the care standards. Intensive care suctioned every two hours and now four and I hate it. She still has the bug in lungs and they are so careless, no quarantine. Immediately wanted her catheter out with her butt so sensitive from bowel movements irritating her. How do you deal with a nursing home when their care just isn't good enough. The nursing director is real pushy and I'm wondering if I need to start filing official complaints and show her who's the boss. Funny how you do get pushed into bad things when someone else tries hard. I'm afraid this place is going to kill her. She can't afford even a ministroke anymore. I finally thought I could afford to work again and now I'm frightened to leave her alone there and want to spend 16 hour days watching her.
    That's all folks!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Bonus Times's Avatar
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    Wow....my heart goes out to you. I had some of the same feelings with my mom several years ago before she died, and was sometimes relieved when she had to go back to the hospital from the nursing home because I knew she would get better care in the hospital. But the hospital could not keep her any longer than medically necessary and she returned to the nursing home. The best we could do at the time was to make frequent and unscheduled visits to the home. The staff never knew when we were coming. That seemed to help. It's a tough situation indeed. I wish you the best.

  3. #3
    Senior Member onenickelmiracle's Avatar
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    I'm going to use the plan I had planned using. Complain to nurse, then complain to nursing director, then to director, then to department of aging. I will explain mom doesn't have the luxury to gamble with her health, and cannot accept gambling. If, I'm unhappy, we cannot compromise. I will ruin their reputation before I ruin her health. We now know she has a narrowed artery supplying blood to her brain and can't afford regression. One mistake and it's over. The things I have learned so far are salesmanship is used too much communicating to the detriment of important healthcare choices, stroke is medicine's garbage can of futility, and nursing homes are a joke when special care is needed. If anyone has nursing experience or nursing home experience how to get your way, please provide your phone number. I need help, counsel, and need opinions when I need them and can't waste time normally with texting here on phone.
    That's all folks!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Weezie's Avatar
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    Nursing home/major stroke

    Erik I am keeping you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers. You are a wonderful son as evidenced by you doing everything you can to take care of her and ensure she was the proper care. I know there are a few nurses on this forum and I hope someone can help you. Stories like this really tug at my heart, especially when they happen to good people like yourself. Hang in there buddy.
    ~Love, health, wealth and enough time to enjoy them all~

  5. #5
    Senior Member slottygirl70's Avatar
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    Im so sorry. Ive been there with my dad. I found the umbudsman for the area agency on aging to be VERY helpful. You can contact them in your area and they are wonderful advocates for families and can help you get fast results if you feel care is lacking. I definitely think the more you can be there the better the care is...but it isnt realistic to be there all the time. You are in my thoughts. Hang in there!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Moneybags's Avatar
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    Oh man, you're going through it. Hang in there.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Hawkeye's Avatar
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    Sure sorry to hear of your mom's stroke. Hopefully you get something done soon about the poor healtth care she is getting. thanks for sharing with us. Your in our thoughts and prayers.

  8. #8
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    So incredibly sorry to read of all your horrible troubles and your moms failing health. It sounds like you are much like my sister and I and learn all you possibly can so you can be her care advocate and be sure she is getting the proper care. I wish you all the best and hope your mom continues to improve.

    Ang

  9. #9
    Senior Member Jenfol2000's Avatar
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    I am so sorry. It's so hard getting older and watching our parents decline. Your mom and you are in my prayers.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Rich99's Avatar
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    Erik, I'm so sorry to hear this about your Mom... Just a few years ago I went thru this with my Dad. I moved him in & out of at least 5 Nursing Homes and there wasn't even 1 that I would consider to be half decent!
    Thoughts and Prayers are with You and your Mom...

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